All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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