just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize