I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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