Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
we should paint friendship bongs
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