my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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