Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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