I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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