Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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