puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You were trust falling into bushes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
