I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
