Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
