highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
