We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My pussy is not your playground.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
