I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
