It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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