oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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