nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
