In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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