I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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