took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
