I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
