Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
