It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
