i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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