what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
