Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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