how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
