but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
