WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
