At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
