I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
