Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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