1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
