i don't like sucking hair
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
