wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
