Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
