Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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