I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She's JV to your varsity
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
