i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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