Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
