He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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