I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
