i think i have herpe
just one?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
