My room smells like vodka and shame
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
