I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
