His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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