i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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