im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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