I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
