you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
