Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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