Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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