I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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