whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
