If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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