no, he came in my armpit
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize