if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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