he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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