Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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